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| Thursday, March 25, 2010 |
| Because everything is futility and striving after the wind... REALLY??? |
Is that really true? Well, the Bible tells us so, doesn't it(Ecclesiastes 2:17)!?
I believe the answer is yes and no at the same time. I believe that Salomon is making a point with this statement, and in the context he is talking about, it surely is true: He is questioning life and its activities.
Why do I go to work every day?
Why do I eat, and then get hungry again?
Why do I clean, just to wait until the layers of dust have collected again?
Why do I help people to lead an independent lifestyle, when they are just going to deteriorate in their conditions?
Why do I meet with people, encouraging them, if there is no goal and no ultimate hope?
Why do I go out shopping, when all the food will be eaten up again soon anyway?
These might sound like silly questions at first, but I have experienced this frustration of having to do things over and over and over and over. And there seems to be no success, achievement, and finalisation at hand!
I have come across many other people feeling depressed and having anxious thoughts that consume their lives...and choosing to put a stop to that. Either by attempting to put a stop to their existance, or by numbing themselves in whatever way. Any solution of this kind, however, have (according to my exerience) the same, or a similar, cause:
These questions were asked, or some of a similar kind, and no solution was found. Therefore, people resist tackling everyday life issues and end up unkept, without motivation, or any drive to do anything anymore.
How understandable!!! And it also makes me believe that people who experience depression and anxiety around life are actually very intelligent! Many people live their daily lives without ever attempting to ask these questions and seeking any answers to what LIFE IS ALL ABOUT!
Well, here is the answer that Salomon gives in the end of his book:
"The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: Fear God and keep His commandments, becuase this applies to every person." Ecc 12:13
I believe wisdom and intelligence to question life is a gift, but can also be a very difficult thing to deal with if you find no answers. It can lead to dispair and hopelessness, which is such fundamental existential pain that noone can imangine, unless experienced for themselves.
Well, so what is the solution? What is the answer?
Well, I believe that the Bible is true, and I believe that this life is just a shadow of what is to come. I believe that we are made to honour God, and if we do not have this purpose in our lives, then we have the questions, but lack the answers.
I believe that God cares about every single one of us, and knows every single one of us in such detail that we will never comprehend. He has got us in His hand, and we are safe and secure as we put our trust in Jesus Christ. He is the Alpha and the Omega. And He has intended many aspects of our lives to be futile, so that we will never stop hungering and thirsting for His intervention, for His righteousness, and ultimately, for being with Him for all eternity.
May the Lord bless you with this reading, and encourage you to press on to get to know HIM.
Many blessings,
Antonia. |
posted by Antonia Jacobson geb Oehm @ 3:54 AM  |
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| Tuesday, January 12, 2010 |
| Transformation |
This is exactly how I feel sometimes. Stagnant, cluttered, filled with things that dont belong to me, filled with things that keep me from what I should be like, and what I want to be like. I feel filled with things, that keep me too full to actually embrace God s new gifts, God s real gifts, opposed to the things that I have collected over time, and thought I need them to be happy, and to be self-fulfilled, and happy: A great pond. But sadly, it has not worked.
The things I cluttered it with have made the pond dirty, brown and stagnant. Many of them have not helped the pond to become more beautiful. They were weird, awkward objects that I chucked in, thinking I need them, and I want them there. But that was not always God s perfect plan for me. And I am not necessarily talling of huge life decisions, but it might have been as small as "Should I buy this shirt?" or "Should I go there?" or "No, I wont help out right now" or "I dont care right now" or "Poor me!".
However, the things of God are the different. They are small, but have such potential! Potential that is not ncessesarily seen at first. Like a little seed that just looks tiny and insignificant. But what potential it has!!! If it is treated as it should, and if it is handled in the right conditions, then it will grow into something BEAUTIFUL. And it would make the pond, MYSELF, more beautiful on the inside. It could be a seed of a coral. Such a little seed, and it becomes something SO beautiful. And something that grows SO slowely, but also reproduces itself and, therefore, makes the whole area under water more and more beautiful. Also, it helps with the ecology of the water. It cleanses it, and is food for other animals, so it has many different ways to benefit the life under the water.
I know that the analogy falls in terms of corals only growing in the ocean, but I still believe this is a powerful picture God gave me this morning. And in light of God s work: He gives me those seeds, and offers to plant many in my life. Seeds that will be beautiful, seeds that will benefit me and others around me, seeds that will grow, and become increasingly evident and effective. But if I refues, thinking that I have something so much better for myself, and only trusting my eyes that dont see the potential that is internal to that little seed, then I will end up as a gross brown stagnant place, that will have no room to bear fruit and be very unpleasant. And even the sun, that is so vital for the under-water ecology will have no effect anymore, as it is too horrible in the pond....so even the SON who is so vital for my life will have no effect in my life anymore, as I simply avoid any opportunity for Him to work in me and through me.
Well, thanks be to God who is so patient. Thanks be to HIM who is a God of second chances. May He continue to clear our my pond and make me more beautiful again on the inside. May He continue to tell me that IT IS NEVER TOO LATE. That He is always there, and willing to help me back up, and willing to continue to put those effective seeds in my life.
May my life choices, particularly at the moment with my Master s, but also what to shopf for, who to talk to, what to do during my day, how to love Jeff, how to love my family, how to love my friends, how to care for others, what to eat and what to drink,...may it all be focused on that: Is it a seed that will work to make me more beautiful, to accomplish God s work in and through me, and ultimately bring HIM ALL THE GLORY???? If it is...bring it on, and may I be willing to do and not do whatever it takes for those seeds to take root and grow into something beautiful.
Isaiah 58:11
11And the LORD will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail.
AMEN. |
| posted by Antonia Jacobson geb Oehm @ 3:34 AM |
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| Wednesday, January 06, 2010 |
| Holiday Thoughts |
I have had an amazing time this Christmas and New Year's. It was great to be with my wonderful man Jeff and also spend the second half of the holidays with my wonderful family.
I have missed them. I have wondered many times what it would be like to just be there again. To just be small again, and know nothing besides being with them. It is a temptation for me. It is a temptation to look back and think that old times were so much better...and I only do because that hurt of missing my family does not seem there. And that insecurity about what is happening next.
As adults, we seem to have to know all things... at least we seem to have to pretend we do. Hm, but what if I dont? What then? Nothing! Nothing would change that fact, except that I would not feel like I am faking it. I dont know many things, and least of all what the future holds.
There are big decisions coming up again. Master's degree or not? What about my job that I have come to enjoy? What about my counselling training?
I am reading a book about the Amish community, and it is so wonderful how they live in such simple and community orientated ways. I am not saying that I agree with all that they do and believe, but I admire their simplicity, and their choice to keep away from some comforts.
"Let your eyes look direclty ahead, and let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you,
Watch the path of your feet and all your ways will be established.
Do not turn to the right nor to the left;
Turn your foot from evil" Proverbs 4: 25-27
I think this will be my verse this year 2010. I want to look ahead of me, fixing my eyes there. I want to watch the path in front of me, and not be focussed on the right and left. Does it seem tempting to look around and compare? Yes, it does. It is tempting to look around to comfort that curiousity, and that desire to not miss out. It is tempting to comfort myself! BUT it does distract. Am I on the path God wants me to be on? Then there is no need to doubt, and wonder. If I am not on that path...well then I need to go that one that He does want me to be on, and all rules apply there as well.
He is so good! And He knows what is ahead and behind, and next to me, and He knows all the single thoughts of my heart. And He is there to care and to hold and to be proud of me.
I am His girl.
Let s focus on that road ahead withough distractions.
Let s focus on the things above!
Antonia. |
| posted by Antonia Jacobson geb Oehm @ 8:25 AM |
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| Saturday, November 21, 2009 |
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 Yaweh Lyrics (U2) Take these shoes Click clacking down some dead end street Take these shoes And make them fit Take this shirt And make it clean, clean Take this soul Stranded in some skin and bones Take this soul And make it sing
Yaweh, Yaweh
Always pain before a child is born Yaweh, Yaweh Still I'm waiting for the dawn Take these hands Teach them what to carrty Take there hands Don't make a first no Take this mouth So quick to criticise Take this mouth Give it a kiss Yaweh, Yaweh Always pain before a child is born Yaweh, Yaweh Still I'm waiting for the dawn Still waiting for the dawn, the sun is coming up The sun is coming up on the ocean This love is like a drop in the ocean This love is like a drop in the ocean Yaweh, Yaweh Alwasys pain before a child Yaweh, tell me now Why the dark before the dawn? Take this city A city shouldbe shining on a hill Take this city It is be your will What no man can own, no man can take Take this heart
Take this heart Take this heart And let it break WHAT A SONG??? It actually caused me many different thoughts and impressions. In one sense, it felt so depressing about that pain, that lostness, that hopelessness with all those questions (Why the dark...). But at the same time, I find it expresses so much hope as well. It shows that Yaweh is the one that can make "this soul sing", that can stop this critizism from my mouth, that can take care of a whole city at once, and finally, the One that can take my very own heart and be trusted to break it in order to build it up for something better and more in His likeness! So there are two very distinct differences here between hopelessness, and this trust in a God who cares, and actually CAN care. Also, it left me with quite deep impressions of this child being born, causing pain the first instance, but of course, once that pain is over, something incredible has occurred: A NEW LIFE! These are the thoughts that have run through my mind and heart lately. There have been quite a few weeks of difficulty for me, that have finally past now. And from all the pain that I felt inside, something more beautiful has now emerged. Something i could not have imagined. I feel so much better now! I feel I have learned so much about my counselling practice, and my strengths and weaknesses in it. I did not compromise my ethics, which was actually a temptation. I have learned from the difficulties I went through, and although I would have expected a little more from some of the other people involved, I still could handle it and deal with it. I feel it was a trial. A trial to shape me and make me into something more beautful on the inside. And I am proud of this new beauty within me. Not that I did it...no no no! But God did it in me. I would have not chosen it by myself. I would have shyed away from from it, considering the pain and fears involved. But I was not the one in control, or the one choosing. So all I could do was let it happen, and look to my Light and my Salvation, the Defence of my life:) May HE be the One blessing you righly as well these days! Love, Antonia. |
| posted by Antonia Jacobson geb Oehm @ 3:52 AM |
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| Tuesday, July 14, 2009 |
| No more waiting. |
| How many times have we heard "Oh, life is too short to..." Hm. For the first time, I can relate to this saying, if it indeed ends with one of my most hated (but most frequent) daily activities: "Life is too short to worry!" I went to see "My sister's keeper" last night, and it was such an awesome film. This film has not left my mind, and it has reminded me of how fragile life is and can be. I know that it is just a film, etc etc...but I also know that there are multiple people diagnosed daily with some horrible diseases like cancer. Some of them are old people, and it can be justified in my mind that they are older...therefore ill-health seems more expected and, therefore, acceptable at first sight. Some of them are young, and the illness raises unavoidable questions like "WHY?" At the end of the day....if young or old... WHY is a good question! Things like that only happen to "others", they dont happen to people around me. They are things I hear about here and there, but it is not in my immediate surrounding.
What if an illness invades the life of someone close to my heart?
W-H-A-T I-F...???
This is the worst kind of question!!! There will be no answer, but a spiral of worry and more worry is started. It will spin and spin, and take the thinker down further and further.
BUT: There are two ways to deal with all of this: There is the option to look down in the mud, or the other option to look up in the stars. Hard times will not be avoided, but there is hope!!! Hope in our LORD. If He did not exist, it would all be pointless. It would all be worthless and void. But he is the One that counts, and ONLY counts.
I can therefore be calm. If I will be ill, and my life goes a different way than I planned it...well...that does not hinder His plans. Maybe my plans were just not His then...but His were entirely different from mine. It is not as if something has taken Him by surprise, and He has not expected it.
Does He not say My thoughts are not your thoughts, and my plans are not your plans. For my thoughts are higher than yours and my plans are higher than yours. He knows what He is doing and we can trust Him!
He is NOT TAKEN BY SURPRISE but has carefully thought out plans for each of us. Does it mean there will be no suffering? Does it mean there will be no pain? Unfortunately not! And I want to honor hugely all the people who have gone through any kind of illness, or been in close support to someone! I cannot even come close to imagine the difficulties. But I do also know that each of us is in the hand of the Lord. And I know that we can choose to rest in that. |
| posted by Antonia Jacobson geb Oehm @ 3:07 AM |
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| Sunday, December 21, 2008 |
| Stuck!!! |
 Hm, we are still here Plymouth. I am not sure how exciting I find that, as I would have just loved to go home to see my family and enjoy the wonderful festive atmosphere at home. But no, instead of holding on to a nice cup of mulled wine on our little wonderful Chrismas market in the middle of my hometown, I am sat on the couch with my laptop. Not too great of a replacement, but I have to make the best of it all, really! I am finding it tough to do this whole "grown-up" thing and invent our own Christmas traditions, as I would have much rather just enjoyed my parents'. However, guess God thought it was about time. So here we are: We decorated our house, and I am trying to just not care about seeing my family so much.
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| posted by Antonia Jacobson geb Oehm @ 2:49 PM |
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| Monday, November 03, 2008 |
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Juhu...about time to write again.
A lot of things have changed over the last months. I guess the most important and drastic change is that Jeff and I finally got married this summer. It has been so very good, and worth all the difficulties that this change brought along. He is great and I am glad that God blessed me with a man like him.
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart, Trust also in Him and He will do it." Ps 37
This is our wedding verse and I have found to be true time after time. Who could have thought that this would be my life?! I always saw myself as living in Germany, and going the "normal" route, of a "normal" life. Hm....not as I delighted myself in the Lord. He changed everything. This is still scary at times, as it makes me realize that I don't know what the future will bring. But I really have to be honest...I could not have dreamed up a better life. He has blessed me and Jeff richly. This certainly did not mean that He has been kept us from heartache, from difficulty or from trials. Nope...He has not. But this also means that He has been with us and blessed us with getting to know Him, renewing our view of Him time after time. This means He has never let us go, and that He has never given up on us.
And to show you some visuals of His blessings: Here are some pictures of our flat. It is wonderful, light, cozy and simply our little home:).
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| posted by Antonia Jacobson geb Oehm @ 2:01 PM |
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| About Me |
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Name: Antonia Oehm
About Me: I love Jesus and particularly one of His most wonderful creations: Jeff. But I also will hardly say no to coffee, the sun, palmtrees and sunflowers. Other things, such as deer (because they are scary....NO!!!THEY REALLY ARE!!!) and cold are not so much my favourites....nor the British accent that I have been picking up more and more (Sorry to all the British people, but the Canadian accent IS nicer)...But above all this, He must increase and I must decrease and I am still on this journey.
See my complete profile
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